


Just A Dream

by Between_A_Dream



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Dreams, F/F, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 09:41:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7097305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Between_A_Dream/pseuds/Between_A_Dream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not long after Buffy's death, Tara starts to remember the pain she suffered through after Glory took her sanity. Can Willow help? Or is she too late? Is Tara already lost?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Dream

Tara could feel her whole body writhing in anguish. She couldn't move, but she could feel nothing holding her down. Her surroundings were black and she felt like her skin was crawling. No. Her skin wasn't crawling. Something was crawling over her skin. She tried to move again, tried to keep whatever was on her away, but it didn't work. She felt small burning tingling sensations inside her brain, as if her mind were on fire, burning from the inside to the out. She couldn't see any way to get out of the blackness. She could hear laughter. Dark, evil laughter that cascaded over her ears with terrible glee. Her mind would not dare let her speak the name aloud, but she screamed it to herself. Her entire body silently screamed the name as loud as it could. _Glory_.

Then, suddenly, she could hear actual screaming in the distance. Her mind was breaking down and her eyes were filled with tears. The screaming got louder and louder until she could no longer bear it. She sobbed as she tried to move her hands, if only in a desperate attempt to block the sound from her ears. She felt blood dripping down over her hands and pain in her chest. Ribs were cracking and her heart was burning. Her eyes bled and her vision soon was nothing more than a red sheet. It seemed like someone was inside her brain and pounding on it with bricks. It was only then that she realized the screaming was coming from her.

* * *

Tara shot up in bed, her eyes wild and her mind skewered. Her body was trembling violently and she couldn't see clearly past the hot tears that were pouring from her eyes.

"Tara? Sweetie?" the quiet, frightened voice came from beside her and she whipped her head to the side, seeing only a head of auburn hair through the darkness. She reached up slowly, her hands quivering as she wiped her eyes. They were just tears. Watery, salty tears. There was no blood. Screaming still echoed in her ears.

"W-Willow?" her voice was soft and broken, and it was enough to melt her lover's heart.

"Tara... Baby, what happened?" the red haired Wiccan asked tentatively, hesitantly reaching a hand out towards the girl. She knew that the blonde got nightmares sometimes, but they had never been that bad. She had woken up to her lover screaming at the top of her lungs and she'd made sure Dawn stayed away while she woke her up.

Tara could not answer the question. She tried to open her mouth, tried to speak the forbidden name, tried to tell her girlfriend the torment she had been subjected to. But her voice seemed to be broken and her words came out as a silent cry. She closed her mouth and looked at the girl beside her, her eyes pleading with desperation for her to understand what she couldn't understand herself, what she couldn't manage to explain. Then she collapsed.

Sobs riotously claimed her body as she clung helplessly to her auburn haired lover. After Willow had used magic and returned her mind to her, after Buffy had died, Tara felt selfish to feel sorry for herself about what had happened with Glory. So she'd shut it out, tried not to remember. And for awhile, she didn't. But slowly, the memory was starting to come back to her.

How lost she felt, how scared and alone she was, how much pain she suffered through, relief only coming in the form of brief increments when she felt Willow's arms around her. Willow sat still for nearly half an hour, holding her beloved and stroking her blonde locks, mumbling comforting nonsense into her ear.

When Tara finally was able to control her breathing, when she was sure she there was no liquid left in her body and she had no more tears left to cry, she let out a shaking breath and looked up into her lover's green irises.

"I'm... I'm s-so-sorry," her voice came out as a fractured whisper.

"Sorry? For what? Goddess Tara, you have nothing on earth to be sorry for," Willow promised, wiping away a few stray tears that were still finding their way down her girlfriend's face.

"I... I shouldn't b-be... B-Buffy is... And I'm... And I-I'm just-" Tara couldn't form the words she was trying so desperately to pour out, so Willow silenced her with a gentle kiss.

"Shh, shh baby, look at me. Talk to me," the red haired Wiccan's voice was only slightly above a mere whisper. Slowly, Tara nodded, and she collected herself before she spoke.

"I... When I w-was... Gone... I d-didn't know what to do. I... I r-remember seeing Glory... And my hand was... Breaking... And you were... We're r-running... Then it was... It was all dark. It was dark and I couldn't see any light... And there w-were these things... These crawling things all o-over me and they bur-burned... They were like... Like f-fire... There were a few times when... When I could h-hear you... And I could feel you with me... And it d-did-didn't hurt... It only lasted for... For a f-few seconds when it happened... You were there and it didn't hurt... But then you were gone again and it hurt worse every t-time you left... And now it's... It's all coming back to me... Remembering the p-pain... Everything that happened... It's all coming back and I can't stop it and I don't know wh-what to do," Tara was now shaking and crying again, and Willow was nearly sobbing herself. She pulled the blonde back into her arms and the two embraced again.

"Tara... I'm so sorry... I... Buffy's death doesn't mean that your pain isn't important... And I was so focused on her that I... Oh goddess the things you went through... And... I'm so sorry," she whispered, kissing her lover repeatedly on the lips with short, quick pecks. "God if there's an award for 'Worst Girlfriend On Earth' I'll accept it now," she groaned, hugging Tara close to her body.

"No, I... I'm the one wh-who should be receiving that I... Buffy's... She's d-de... And I... I'm crying b-because I-" Tara didn't get to finish- Instead, her voice stopped working and she broke down again, new tears somehow finding their way into existence. The red head only felt worse as she watched the scene unfold in front of her, realizing how truly fragmented and stained her lover really was.

Tara cried, and Willow held her. Just held her, letting her know she wasn't alone, that she didn't have to be sorry for anything, and apologizing for not being there for her.

"Tara... Buffy's death hurts. It hurts so bad that I can barely fathom it sometimes. But what you went through... You lost your mind... And I lost you. You were gone... You weren't there... And now I haven't been here to help bring you back... I'm so sorry Tara... I've been so worried about Buffy that I just pushed you away and... Made you feel like you couldn't tell me things were so bad, I... I love you so much baby, so so much, and you can always tell me anything," Willow kissed her as she spoke the words with as much truth as she could put into her voice.

"So you're not... You're not... Upset?" Tara whispered.

"Goddess, never Tara, never. It'll all be alright, I've got you," the red haired Wiccan pulled her blonde lover close and stroked her hair gently. For awhile they laid like that, neither of them bothering to hardly move. Tara had almost managed to fall asleep when she heard sound again. "Sweetie?" Willow asked in a gentle tone.

"Yeah?" she responded, not opening her eyes just yet.

"Do you um... Do you need to talk? About anything? Anything else that happened, anything else you remember? Because if you do I'm here, I'm 100% here and all ears and you can tell me anything you need to. If you ever need to talk to me about anything, any memories or feelings, I'm here. But uh... I mean you don't... You don't have to tell me anything else if you don't want to, that's cool too you know, that's Finey McFine and all, whatever you want," she babbled, and for the first time that night a small but sure smile graced Tara's lips.

"I do n-need to talk about it... There's a lot I remember and I d-do need to talk more. And I will... But um... Not r-right now. Can you j-just uh... C-Can you just hold me tonight?" she whispered.

"Of course," Willow leaned down and kissed her for a few moments. The two lay there that night in each other's arms, reeling comfort in the solace of the embrace they were so tightly wrapped in. And for the first time since she had come back, for the first time since Buffy died, for the first time since Willow had found her, Tara slept soundly, even managing to sleep with a smile still gracing her lips.


End file.
